Wow, this is just appalling! It is worse than I thought. I am on the faculty at FUS. At times, a student will come to me wanting to relate something strange that happened in the confessional. I discourage this, and I always tell them I do not want to know the name of whatever TOR they are speaking about. I have heard some really hair-raising stories. My advice is always: "Trust your gut feeling. If a priest makes you uncomfortable, avoid him." I had an encounter with Fr. Plow when he embarrassed me in front of a classroom of students by being extremely condescending and aggressive, making full use of his Roman collar to intimidate a junior faculty member. I could see that the students were on my side and rather appalled by his behavior. There wasn't anyone to complain to anyway. The administration is always dismissive toward the faculty, especially if a TOR is involved. So I let the incident drop. That was my only interaction with this guy, thank goodness.
I I neglected to respond to you in a prompt manner which means that I ended up not actually responding in print, and I am sorry for that. I meant to thank you for weighing in here. I am sorry for your experience with Father Plow, and it seems that it's not a unique one, regrettably.
I was sorry to also read your account of Father Gregory abusing his power. I’m sorry you went through that.
But I need to note. Frankly, this is how the cycle of abuse can continue. Please don’t say, “I don’t want to know the name of the TOR” and tell the victim to “avoid” a priest if he makes you uncomfortable. Instead, listen to the student. Give he/she the resources to report that priest to authorities and to protect others.
Just because a priest wears a collar doesn’t make him a good priest, let alone one that should be interacting with students.
Let me explain a bit further. On occasion, I have indeed told a student that he or she should report a potentially abusive situation to a higher authority. But for many reasons, I do not think it is appropriate for a faculty member to hear copious details about a confession or a confessor. (And sometimes students do get things wrong and exaggerate wildly. I have learned this first hand.) Now, if someone had said to me "Fr. So-and-So raped me" well, obviously, that would be a different situation. But what I tend to hear from students is more like this: "Fr. X told me to continue a friendship with my former gay partner, and stop being so judgmental, but it seems like I am being placed into temptation." (I did hear that very thing from a student a few years ago.) Or this: "Fr. Y said he saw seven demons sitting on my left shoulder. He named them all, told me what they wanted, and told me only he could help me combat them, and I have to see him EVERY DAY for confession. This is weird, right?" (Again, that is almost verbatim what a male student said to me once.) Sometimes, I have told a student simply: "Look, that is obviously nutty. Just go to confession off campus."
Thank you for the clarification, which was an important one.
Thank you for directing some students to report some interactions and to advise going off campus for confession, in some circumstances. That is what I would expect from a faculty member.
However, I do disagree that, as a faculty, I would have wanted to know the name of the TOR, if the student would have been willing to share. I agree you don’t need to hear “copious details” but the name would suffice. The purpose of this would be to keep note of who the odd interaction was with and to possibly identify a pattern as early as possible. Ultimately, it could potentially remove that priest from ministry for the sake of student safety.
All squeaky wheels aren’t bad since they can signal that something is wrong. And sometimes they save you or someone else from catastrophe. This isn’t Franciscan’s first abuse scandal. But it needs to be the last if people keep speaking up.
Thank you for your respectful reply, and I wish you well.
Fr Dan, thank you for your courage to speak here. It is so appreciated and means so much for us to hear a TOR that supports us and acknowledges the issues at hand.
I dont think you are truly "powerless", but extremely powerful in showing your support. Your voice has power to support. Thank you for doing this.
The sex abuse scandals led me to take a deeper dive into the theology of the priesthood. I came to the conclusion that the church is wired for self-preservation. We see this in its response to abuse. That is how the conscience of the church is formed.
Self-preservation is also woven into the church's theology. The priesthood at its core is about power and control and maintaining institutional self preservation. Until this is recognized and said out loud all the work is only putting bandaids on a wound that will not heal.
The use of religious language to divert attention from this is a common tool. But those who hold the power are not willing or able to take a deeper look.
Thanks, Jenn. You continue to give a voice to others - your strength is enviable.
I attended FUS over 30 years ago (I mean, Fr. Dan Pattee's hair was still brown!), and it's really only been in the last 10-15 years or so that I've been able to acknowledge the spiritual and emotional abuse I encountered, both on and off campus, while living in Steubenville.
I never liked Plow during my time there, and this all unfortunately confirms my gut was right :( I credit FUS for being the reason I’m no longer religious…I have two younger siblings there now and I just hope they get through their undergrads without being degraded and humiliated like I was. It doesn’t surprise me that Plow is still there— he has a way of being just charming enough.
I am alarmed at how often the confessional facilitates abuse. I am no longer Catholic. Now on the outside I see that the theology around “mortal” sins and confession embraces coercive control.
First of all, I want to thank you for sharing so vulnerably here. I know that you have a unique and lonely place in all of this, and I want to say that I'm sorry for what you endured. I definitely do not wish to ever indicate that one should abandon Christ, although certainly, I can sympathize with those so hurt by the church that they were abandoned.
I suppose my question is, however, when people come to the authority of the church, lay bare their sufferings such as outlined here and in Katie*s documented experiences, when they've gone to the university as well as the diocese and yet, the priest in question is permitted to remain and continue to inflict harm on students, what should we do? Certainly this matter would have been far better had over ten years ago, Father Gregory received guidance and counseling and intervention for his own issues, and yet, despite being confirmed by multiple witnesses, therapists, and even a TOR sister, that did not happen. Beyond merely yelling at people in the confessional, which I do take seriously as it often creates a stumbling block for penitents to return to the confessional, this matter of sexual harassment, crossing boundaries, violating the safety of young women on campus, why were they not addressed? What has resulted is more offenses. More harmed individuals. And truly, sincerely, this includes Father Gregory himself. How has it served him to have his brother priests excuse this behavior?
Thank you again for bravely commenting here. I wish you continued healing from your own harmful experiences. I cannot imagine the suffering you endured, and for that I am truly sorry.
If a professor did one tenth of the things Fr. Plow is reported to have done, he would be sent packing without delay. The double standard here is glaring. But a priest in a women's dormitory at any hour of the day suggests the whole idea of a vocation is badly flawed at FUS. Last year or the year before, there was a group of senior faculty who were talking about addressing these issues with the Board of Trustees, maybe going so far as to request that the TORs be removed from campus, and some other order invited in to run things. I don't know whatever happened with that. Maybe the Board told them to buzz off, or maybe they all just dropped the idea. A pity.
Dear Fr. Dan - Thank you for engaging here. I imagine as someone who belongs to this order, this is far from easy for you, and I appreciate the vulnerability and bravery. I certainly hope I didn't give you the impression that I held you responsible in any way for these men, although you highlight an important point that I've often reflected upon - what did those people who DID know and could have done something decide?
You're right. Sweeping things under the rug has tragically driven us to most of this madness. Moving forward, I was hoping to see more transparency. More accountability. But as Fr. Pivonka's reponse indicates, that isn't happening. Instead, just reassurances that Fr. Plow will continue in his ministry. No acknowledgement of the allegations nor their severity. More press releases about how the University has improved. Over and over.
I think it wise to also let our actions and advocacy be a prayer. To not be motivated by revenge or wrath but rather a thirst for justice and truth. And it's vital in my opinion to constantly evaluate one's own motives for the sake of our own souls.
Also, I think action should be motivated by a desire to protect potential future victims - because if this is the response to leaving bruises on a young woman, to repeated unwanted advances, etc., there will be more young people enduring abuses.
Fr. Dan - Thank you for this. I am understanding what you are saying. And I too know that things are improving. I think of the long-suffering victims of decades past who I can recall MYSELF shaming and disbelieving. May God have mercy on me for my ignorance.
This does lead to me ask, though - why are the victims on campus not receiving improved processes? Please understand, this is a rhetorical question as I have no intention of either putting you on the spot or requiring you to answer for the entire order. But when the documentation is there, and from several subsequent accounts, Father Plow continues to behave poorly, how is it considered acceptable for him to remain on campus in his ministry?
I have seen several defenses of the university saying that everything is so much better, that all the improvements have been put in place, that these cases are taken seriously, etc., however, I don't see how anyone can put their trust in the same systems run by the very same people who have done nothing for the myriad of people harmed over the years. Done nothing or worse, provided cover for these abuses.
Are we not called to be Jesus' hands and feet? Are we not called to carry out His mission to be an advocate for the poor, the lowly, those set aside, ignored, and forgotten by the powerful? Are we not called to build God's Kingdom while we are yet here on Earth?
Jesus and the university's patron St. Francis showed us how to do this: with our actions, our blood and sweat and spit. Jesus did not only tell the sick that their treasure was in Heaven and that God counted every hair on their head - he healed them as well. St. Francis didn't just look forward to the justice of the Kingdom of Heaven, he also gathered the poor of Assissi, cared for them, and built them an earthly church home until their time to join the Heavenly one.
You speak about avoidance of uncomfortable truths. That the World is avoiding Christ because the truth about ourselves is uncomfortable. Perhaps that's true. But this article and the vast majority of these stories mention nothing about abandoning Christ, it's you bringing that up. I gently admonish you, in regards to the matter at hand (priestly abuse of all kinds, and especially that which occurs in our own communities), to worry more about our own avoidance than the World's.
It's easy and comfortable to focus on the inevitability of Christ's victory. It's easy and comfortable to pray that abusive priests come back to the Lord and trust in His merciful justice. It's hard to stand up and make active change in our own communities. It's hard to confront and admonish our friends and peers, to tell them that their actions are harmful not only to the lambs that God has entrusted to their care as priests, but to their own souls. It's hard to be bold and speak out so that more innocents are not harmed.
But just as Frs Morrier, Tiesi, and Gregory will have to give account of their actions towards the least of these before Christ, so will we. We will also have to give account of our inactions - all the ways in which we have failed the calling to actually get dirty and bloody and be His hands and feet.
First, I can't thank you enough for your willingness, honesty and vulnerability in engaging here. I especially appreciate the respectful tone and good faith you and Jenn have shown in your back and forth. I've cried more than once reading what you've shared. Over the past couple years I've written and spoken publicly about the FUS scandal (not here to toot my own horn, but if you google my "Elizabeth Hansen" and "Franciscan University" I'm sure articles would come up.)
I've done my best to write and speak from a place of prayer. I don't want to set Christ aside. But Father, I'll be honest; there are times I've been to Mass and brought nothing but sheer, overwhelming rage toward FUS and your brother TORs. I'm not a victim, and my time at FUS was one of growth and beauty overall, but I'd be angry that they stole and tainted my memories, and more, that they robbed so many of my friends of their peace and faith, directly because of abuse, spiritual manipulation, or coverup -- I wish you could see the facebook groups and private chats; Jenn's post here is only a sliver. I'll share one aspect of this that cut me to the core: do you remember the spring of 2008, when a female student died suddenly during a flu outbreak on campus? She was one of my first friends at FUS; a lot of us had been away that weekend on a women's retreat, and when we came back, we learned she was dead. I don't know if this is true, but at the time I was told you were with her, and I was consoled that she didn't die alone, that she had a spiritual father as gentle as you with her. The homily at her memorial Mass was given by Fr. Richard Davis, and I remember it being beautiful, hopeful, and charged with grace. It was exactly what we needed. After I read the police documents and civil lawsuit draft from the Morrier case -- including Fr. Richard's role in making the victim sign a NDA -- I happened to find the article I'd written for the Troub about my friend's memorial Mass and the homily Fr. Richard gave. And I cried and grieved and felt so much rage that the priest who brought so much grace and consolation to me and my friends and this woman's family turned around a few years later and crushed another young woman who came to him scared for her life. The fact that the TORs have allowed him to quietly disappear is a scandal to me.
I know there must be good, holy men in the TORs -- your name was mentioned to me a couple times over the past two years, as one of them -- but I got to a point where I can't look at a TOR without deep mistrust or visceral anger. Or maybe I could muster up pity that they had to carry water for their brothers who'd wreaked so much harm, either through abuse or complicity -- but then where were their voices identifying with the victims; directly naming every, toxic aspect of a culture that enables abuse; and calling the order to truly Francis-inspired reform? Where is the preferential option for the poor instead of the institution or the brotherhood? I acknowledge this may have happened in private and there will be aspects of religious life we're not privileged to see, but this has become a public scandal, and we needed a way to hear this. Instead, we got PR statements from FUS and the TORs that treated anyone who could read actual allegations like they were idiots. They cared more about legal protection than naming and exposing the wounds and rot. Why are you the first? Where is the leadership? How is this integrity? Why does it take a friar who almost left the order and showed up in a comment box to be the one TOR to finally break the silence and speak to us like the wounded sheep we are instead of as liabilities or threats? You said above that you don't see "villainy" in Fr. Dave Pivonka. I'd like to believe that, but if that's true, what I'm left to assume is that he's inexcusably oblivious to or unwilling to deal head on with ugly things, in a way the Church needs to today -- and that, too, is a mark against his leadership. I find I can't extend good faith toward him because of that. I need his brothers to urge him on.
I'm sorry if I come across as using you as a punching bag with my rhetorical questions. Again, I'm grateful for your presence here, and I'm so sorry for what you've experienced. Thank you for being a good father. I've been praying for you. Please pray for us.
Father, with all due respect. Your words about mercy and justice sound beautiful and flowery, but I'll be honest, it's a romanticized view of the world not based on reality.
The truth is, mercy without the physical, emotional, and spiritual needs being met of the victims while also preventing further harm, is actually just enabling.
Now, I'll be honest, I no longer believe in God, but if I did, I would still stand by what I am saying. Having compassion means loving people so deeply that you would fight for them. Love without action isn't real.
So, if I were to believe in God, I would also believe that I should fight for victims and do my best to prevent further harm. Because I would also believe I am called to be God's true and real compassion on earth. Not just a basin of flowery words that are ultimately empty.
My point is, and I say this as a Mental Health Professional, healing can't begin unless we attend to the needs of victims: emotionally, psychologically, physically, and spiritually. And then also do more to prevent this from happening in the future. That's what justice demands of us. We can't sit back and enable more abuse.
I am not advocating that you lose your faith. But I am saying that mercy without justice is enabling.
These are really distressing to read, but are stories that need to be in the open. Thank you to everyone who bravely shared.
Thank you, Jenn, for tirelessly providing a voice for victims. And to all of you spoken and silent, you are not alone!
Thank you Jenn, and everyone who was so courageous to come forward with your vulnerable experiences with Fr. Gregory.
Absolutely horrifying but unfortunately, not surprising
Wow, this is just appalling! It is worse than I thought. I am on the faculty at FUS. At times, a student will come to me wanting to relate something strange that happened in the confessional. I discourage this, and I always tell them I do not want to know the name of whatever TOR they are speaking about. I have heard some really hair-raising stories. My advice is always: "Trust your gut feeling. If a priest makes you uncomfortable, avoid him." I had an encounter with Fr. Plow when he embarrassed me in front of a classroom of students by being extremely condescending and aggressive, making full use of his Roman collar to intimidate a junior faculty member. I could see that the students were on my side and rather appalled by his behavior. There wasn't anyone to complain to anyway. The administration is always dismissive toward the faculty, especially if a TOR is involved. So I let the incident drop. That was my only interaction with this guy, thank goodness.
Dear FUS Professor,
I I neglected to respond to you in a prompt manner which means that I ended up not actually responding in print, and I am sorry for that. I meant to thank you for weighing in here. I am sorry for your experience with Father Plow, and it seems that it's not a unique one, regrettably.
I was sorry to also read your account of Father Gregory abusing his power. I’m sorry you went through that.
But I need to note. Frankly, this is how the cycle of abuse can continue. Please don’t say, “I don’t want to know the name of the TOR” and tell the victim to “avoid” a priest if he makes you uncomfortable. Instead, listen to the student. Give he/she the resources to report that priest to authorities and to protect others.
Just because a priest wears a collar doesn’t make him a good priest, let alone one that should be interacting with students.
Let me explain a bit further. On occasion, I have indeed told a student that he or she should report a potentially abusive situation to a higher authority. But for many reasons, I do not think it is appropriate for a faculty member to hear copious details about a confession or a confessor. (And sometimes students do get things wrong and exaggerate wildly. I have learned this first hand.) Now, if someone had said to me "Fr. So-and-So raped me" well, obviously, that would be a different situation. But what I tend to hear from students is more like this: "Fr. X told me to continue a friendship with my former gay partner, and stop being so judgmental, but it seems like I am being placed into temptation." (I did hear that very thing from a student a few years ago.) Or this: "Fr. Y said he saw seven demons sitting on my left shoulder. He named them all, told me what they wanted, and told me only he could help me combat them, and I have to see him EVERY DAY for confession. This is weird, right?" (Again, that is almost verbatim what a male student said to me once.) Sometimes, I have told a student simply: "Look, that is obviously nutty. Just go to confession off campus."
Abuse is serious not only when it is sexual. Spiritual abuse is just as serious. So much damage has been done by priests who “see demons” everywhere.
Thank you for the clarification, which was an important one.
Thank you for directing some students to report some interactions and to advise going off campus for confession, in some circumstances. That is what I would expect from a faculty member.
However, I do disagree that, as a faculty, I would have wanted to know the name of the TOR, if the student would have been willing to share. I agree you don’t need to hear “copious details” but the name would suffice. The purpose of this would be to keep note of who the odd interaction was with and to possibly identify a pattern as early as possible. Ultimately, it could potentially remove that priest from ministry for the sake of student safety.
All squeaky wheels aren’t bad since they can signal that something is wrong. And sometimes they save you or someone else from catastrophe. This isn’t Franciscan’s first abuse scandal. But it needs to be the last if people keep speaking up.
Thank you for your respectful reply, and I wish you well.
Fr Dan, thank you for your courage to speak here. It is so appreciated and means so much for us to hear a TOR that supports us and acknowledges the issues at hand.
I dont think you are truly "powerless", but extremely powerful in showing your support. Your voice has power to support. Thank you for doing this.
K
The sex abuse scandals led me to take a deeper dive into the theology of the priesthood. I came to the conclusion that the church is wired for self-preservation. We see this in its response to abuse. That is how the conscience of the church is formed.
Self-preservation is also woven into the church's theology. The priesthood at its core is about power and control and maintaining institutional self preservation. Until this is recognized and said out loud all the work is only putting bandaids on a wound that will not heal.
The use of religious language to divert attention from this is a common tool. But those who hold the power are not willing or able to take a deeper look.
Thank you, Jenn, for everything you are doing to expose the truth, and thank you to everyone who has courageously shared their painful experiences.
Thanks, Jenn. You continue to give a voice to others - your strength is enviable.
I attended FUS over 30 years ago (I mean, Fr. Dan Pattee's hair was still brown!), and it's really only been in the last 10-15 years or so that I've been able to acknowledge the spiritual and emotional abuse I encountered, both on and off campus, while living in Steubenville.
I never liked Plow during my time there, and this all unfortunately confirms my gut was right :( I credit FUS for being the reason I’m no longer religious…I have two younger siblings there now and I just hope they get through their undergrads without being degraded and humiliated like I was. It doesn’t surprise me that Plow is still there— he has a way of being just charming enough.
I am alarmed at how often the confessional facilitates abuse. I am no longer Catholic. Now on the outside I see that the theology around “mortal” sins and confession embraces coercive control.
Dear Fr. Dan,
First of all, I want to thank you for sharing so vulnerably here. I know that you have a unique and lonely place in all of this, and I want to say that I'm sorry for what you endured. I definitely do not wish to ever indicate that one should abandon Christ, although certainly, I can sympathize with those so hurt by the church that they were abandoned.
I suppose my question is, however, when people come to the authority of the church, lay bare their sufferings such as outlined here and in Katie*s documented experiences, when they've gone to the university as well as the diocese and yet, the priest in question is permitted to remain and continue to inflict harm on students, what should we do? Certainly this matter would have been far better had over ten years ago, Father Gregory received guidance and counseling and intervention for his own issues, and yet, despite being confirmed by multiple witnesses, therapists, and even a TOR sister, that did not happen. Beyond merely yelling at people in the confessional, which I do take seriously as it often creates a stumbling block for penitents to return to the confessional, this matter of sexual harassment, crossing boundaries, violating the safety of young women on campus, why were they not addressed? What has resulted is more offenses. More harmed individuals. And truly, sincerely, this includes Father Gregory himself. How has it served him to have his brother priests excuse this behavior?
Thank you again for bravely commenting here. I wish you continued healing from your own harmful experiences. I cannot imagine the suffering you endured, and for that I am truly sorry.
If a professor did one tenth of the things Fr. Plow is reported to have done, he would be sent packing without delay. The double standard here is glaring. But a priest in a women's dormitory at any hour of the day suggests the whole idea of a vocation is badly flawed at FUS. Last year or the year before, there was a group of senior faculty who were talking about addressing these issues with the Board of Trustees, maybe going so far as to request that the TORs be removed from campus, and some other order invited in to run things. I don't know whatever happened with that. Maybe the Board told them to buzz off, or maybe they all just dropped the idea. A pity.
Dear Fr. Dan - Thank you for engaging here. I imagine as someone who belongs to this order, this is far from easy for you, and I appreciate the vulnerability and bravery. I certainly hope I didn't give you the impression that I held you responsible in any way for these men, although you highlight an important point that I've often reflected upon - what did those people who DID know and could have done something decide?
You're right. Sweeping things under the rug has tragically driven us to most of this madness. Moving forward, I was hoping to see more transparency. More accountability. But as Fr. Pivonka's reponse indicates, that isn't happening. Instead, just reassurances that Fr. Plow will continue in his ministry. No acknowledgement of the allegations nor their severity. More press releases about how the University has improved. Over and over.
I think it wise to also let our actions and advocacy be a prayer. To not be motivated by revenge or wrath but rather a thirst for justice and truth. And it's vital in my opinion to constantly evaluate one's own motives for the sake of our own souls.
Also, I think action should be motivated by a desire to protect potential future victims - because if this is the response to leaving bruises on a young woman, to repeated unwanted advances, etc., there will be more young people enduring abuses.
Fr. Dan - Thank you for this. I am understanding what you are saying. And I too know that things are improving. I think of the long-suffering victims of decades past who I can recall MYSELF shaming and disbelieving. May God have mercy on me for my ignorance.
This does lead to me ask, though - why are the victims on campus not receiving improved processes? Please understand, this is a rhetorical question as I have no intention of either putting you on the spot or requiring you to answer for the entire order. But when the documentation is there, and from several subsequent accounts, Father Plow continues to behave poorly, how is it considered acceptable for him to remain on campus in his ministry?
I have seen several defenses of the university saying that everything is so much better, that all the improvements have been put in place, that these cases are taken seriously, etc., however, I don't see how anyone can put their trust in the same systems run by the very same people who have done nothing for the myriad of people harmed over the years. Done nothing or worse, provided cover for these abuses.
Are we not called to be Jesus' hands and feet? Are we not called to carry out His mission to be an advocate for the poor, the lowly, those set aside, ignored, and forgotten by the powerful? Are we not called to build God's Kingdom while we are yet here on Earth?
Jesus and the university's patron St. Francis showed us how to do this: with our actions, our blood and sweat and spit. Jesus did not only tell the sick that their treasure was in Heaven and that God counted every hair on their head - he healed them as well. St. Francis didn't just look forward to the justice of the Kingdom of Heaven, he also gathered the poor of Assissi, cared for them, and built them an earthly church home until their time to join the Heavenly one.
You speak about avoidance of uncomfortable truths. That the World is avoiding Christ because the truth about ourselves is uncomfortable. Perhaps that's true. But this article and the vast majority of these stories mention nothing about abandoning Christ, it's you bringing that up. I gently admonish you, in regards to the matter at hand (priestly abuse of all kinds, and especially that which occurs in our own communities), to worry more about our own avoidance than the World's.
It's easy and comfortable to focus on the inevitability of Christ's victory. It's easy and comfortable to pray that abusive priests come back to the Lord and trust in His merciful justice. It's hard to stand up and make active change in our own communities. It's hard to confront and admonish our friends and peers, to tell them that their actions are harmful not only to the lambs that God has entrusted to their care as priests, but to their own souls. It's hard to be bold and speak out so that more innocents are not harmed.
But just as Frs Morrier, Tiesi, and Gregory will have to give account of their actions towards the least of these before Christ, so will we. We will also have to give account of our inactions - all the ways in which we have failed the calling to actually get dirty and bloody and be His hands and feet.
I'm so sorry for your experience, Fr. Dan. Thank you for being willing to share it here.
Dear Fr. Dan,
First, I can't thank you enough for your willingness, honesty and vulnerability in engaging here. I especially appreciate the respectful tone and good faith you and Jenn have shown in your back and forth. I've cried more than once reading what you've shared. Over the past couple years I've written and spoken publicly about the FUS scandal (not here to toot my own horn, but if you google my "Elizabeth Hansen" and "Franciscan University" I'm sure articles would come up.)
I've done my best to write and speak from a place of prayer. I don't want to set Christ aside. But Father, I'll be honest; there are times I've been to Mass and brought nothing but sheer, overwhelming rage toward FUS and your brother TORs. I'm not a victim, and my time at FUS was one of growth and beauty overall, but I'd be angry that they stole and tainted my memories, and more, that they robbed so many of my friends of their peace and faith, directly because of abuse, spiritual manipulation, or coverup -- I wish you could see the facebook groups and private chats; Jenn's post here is only a sliver. I'll share one aspect of this that cut me to the core: do you remember the spring of 2008, when a female student died suddenly during a flu outbreak on campus? She was one of my first friends at FUS; a lot of us had been away that weekend on a women's retreat, and when we came back, we learned she was dead. I don't know if this is true, but at the time I was told you were with her, and I was consoled that she didn't die alone, that she had a spiritual father as gentle as you with her. The homily at her memorial Mass was given by Fr. Richard Davis, and I remember it being beautiful, hopeful, and charged with grace. It was exactly what we needed. After I read the police documents and civil lawsuit draft from the Morrier case -- including Fr. Richard's role in making the victim sign a NDA -- I happened to find the article I'd written for the Troub about my friend's memorial Mass and the homily Fr. Richard gave. And I cried and grieved and felt so much rage that the priest who brought so much grace and consolation to me and my friends and this woman's family turned around a few years later and crushed another young woman who came to him scared for her life. The fact that the TORs have allowed him to quietly disappear is a scandal to me.
I know there must be good, holy men in the TORs -- your name was mentioned to me a couple times over the past two years, as one of them -- but I got to a point where I can't look at a TOR without deep mistrust or visceral anger. Or maybe I could muster up pity that they had to carry water for their brothers who'd wreaked so much harm, either through abuse or complicity -- but then where were their voices identifying with the victims; directly naming every, toxic aspect of a culture that enables abuse; and calling the order to truly Francis-inspired reform? Where is the preferential option for the poor instead of the institution or the brotherhood? I acknowledge this may have happened in private and there will be aspects of religious life we're not privileged to see, but this has become a public scandal, and we needed a way to hear this. Instead, we got PR statements from FUS and the TORs that treated anyone who could read actual allegations like they were idiots. They cared more about legal protection than naming and exposing the wounds and rot. Why are you the first? Where is the leadership? How is this integrity? Why does it take a friar who almost left the order and showed up in a comment box to be the one TOR to finally break the silence and speak to us like the wounded sheep we are instead of as liabilities or threats? You said above that you don't see "villainy" in Fr. Dave Pivonka. I'd like to believe that, but if that's true, what I'm left to assume is that he's inexcusably oblivious to or unwilling to deal head on with ugly things, in a way the Church needs to today -- and that, too, is a mark against his leadership. I find I can't extend good faith toward him because of that. I need his brothers to urge him on.
I'm sorry if I come across as using you as a punching bag with my rhetorical questions. Again, I'm grateful for your presence here, and I'm so sorry for what you've experienced. Thank you for being a good father. I've been praying for you. Please pray for us.
Father, with all due respect. Your words about mercy and justice sound beautiful and flowery, but I'll be honest, it's a romanticized view of the world not based on reality.
The truth is, mercy without the physical, emotional, and spiritual needs being met of the victims while also preventing further harm, is actually just enabling.
Now, I'll be honest, I no longer believe in God, but if I did, I would still stand by what I am saying. Having compassion means loving people so deeply that you would fight for them. Love without action isn't real.
So, if I were to believe in God, I would also believe that I should fight for victims and do my best to prevent further harm. Because I would also believe I am called to be God's true and real compassion on earth. Not just a basin of flowery words that are ultimately empty.
My point is, and I say this as a Mental Health Professional, healing can't begin unless we attend to the needs of victims: emotionally, psychologically, physically, and spiritually. And then also do more to prevent this from happening in the future. That's what justice demands of us. We can't sit back and enable more abuse.
I am not advocating that you lose your faith. But I am saying that mercy without justice is enabling.
God bless you, Fr. Dan. We miss you a lot!
Oh Fr. Dan. ❤️ Thank you.
Thanks for sharing Fr Dan. I’m glad to hear about your journey, and sad for you too.